Just Friends

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Can heterosexual men and women truly be friends with no hopes or expectations of anything more?

Throughout my middle school year, I thought that you could only have female friends and those who had male friends were usually male themselves. I was a naive little middle schooler, I didn’t realize that males and females could be friends without ever being in a relationship.

Sophomore year of high school years, I made some really good male friends. We will call them Cameron and Ethan (names changed for privacy); they were smart, funny and loads of fun to be around. We had several classes together and would talk during class to pass the time. Then, senior year came and things changed. We started planning days where we would get breakfast together at a local bagel shop, go to the beach, hang out at each other houses and spend endless nights texting each other. This is all things female friends do with each other, but no one raises any questions.

I lived in one small town, while Cameron lived in the next small town and Ethan lived in about fifteen minutes from Cameron. When we go out in public one of the boys would always be late, because we lived in different places. Therefore, I would be sitting alone with either Cameron or Ethan and the public would always think whoever I was sitting next to, I was dating. This was not the case; we were just a small group of friends hanging out together. I have gotten to the stage where I see them more as my brothers than potential boyfriend material.

I am at the end of my four months abroad and of course, I wanted to stay in touch with Cameron and Ethan while I was gone. The only way to communicate with them is Facebook and Skype. Cameron brought up that he has a lady friend and they could possibly start a very serious relationship come the fall semester. When I first heard this, I was jealous because there have been multiple times where I felt like we could be more.

Then, I started to remember something I once told my friend. “Would you rather be in a relationship with a guy for one year or be friends with them forever?” I revisited this question myself. I would like to have Cameron as a friend rather than a boyfriend. We have worked on our friendship for about five years and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize what we have currently. As I thought about us more, I realized that we probably wouldn’t work out anyways. He wants to become a doctor, while I want my life to be free and wild. I want to travel the world, while he wanted to be working a standard 9 to 5 job. Also, I could be moving within the next year. I haven’t seen them in over four months and I feel like my feelings towards both are more intense since I haven’t seen them in a really long time.

I never went into our friendship, wanting a relationship, even though I have thought of us being more I’ve never taken any action. I want to be able to tell them everything and want them to support me as well as I support them. I want to be able to attend their weddings while they attend mine.

I’ve been to their houses as they’ve been to mine. I’ve met their family and they’ve met mine. We are just like any friend group, but we are mixing genders. Of course, sometimes our friendship is frustrating at times because we are girls and guys. For example, I would love to go camping with them, but our parents might not feel comfortable us spending overnights together. Our parents trust us… no doubt, but society says that girls and guys together can lead to unwanted consequences. There are times where I don’t quite understand what they are saying, especially when it comes to gaming.

In conclusion, be friends with everyone, whether they are girls or guys. Don’t let society tell you who you can be friends with. If you have something in common and you enjoy being around them then, start to build a friendship that could last forever.

Day 12: Write about five blessings in your life

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My family – My family means everything to me, I don’t think I could tell you how much they mean to me in just a couple of sentences.

My friends – Making friends is always a hard task for me especially these past four to five years. I have been very fortunate to be friends with some amazing people and I can’t imagine my life without them. They have truly made me a better person and built me into the person I am today! If any of you are reading this, I love you so much! These are the initials of my six closest friends! CK, ES, MA, BK, LW & JJ! (You know who you are.)

My health and my family’s – I feel blessed to know that I am very healthy as well as my family.

Education – I am so happy that I was able to go to school and to learn, whereas many young women lack the opportunity to be educated. My biggest wish to have all young women to be educated. Education truly gives you a power that can never be taken away.

Travel – I’ve been very fortunate to been able to travel the world. I come from a small town, many of my classmates have barely left my state and I consider myself very blessed to be given opportunities to travel.

Green Light by Lorde

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I have been constantly listening to Green Light by Lorde. I have never been in a relationship with a guy so I can’t relate to Lorde’s break up but I can from a friendship standpoint.

Background information: I will call my friend Alison (name changed for privacy). I was good friends with Alison for about eight years, we did everything together. We were those friends who would finish each other sentence. At the end of senior year of high school came and we both moved on, without each other following. She got into a long term relationship and I became friends with other people. We associated with other groups of people, her with Chorus while I associated with band and science groups. Now that you know a little bit about our friendship I will get right into the lyrics.

But I hear sounds in my mind

Brand new sounds in my mind

New beginnings are around the corner since we are ending high school and starting college (in college as I’m writing this). College will lead to new friends and brand new experiences.

But, honey, I’ll be seein’ you ‘ever I go

But, honey, I’ll be seein’ you down every road

Everywhere I go, I am reminded of her. That is where we first met. We had a party at that place. There was where we made an inside joke that no one else would know. Every little thing I saw somehow related back to her.

I’m waiting for it, that green light, I want it

Though she has since moved on, I am still waiting to be liberated. I’m still waiting for that green light. I want to move on so badly but can’t. I am just getting to the point where I can finally say that I have a green light. I am finally over our friendship and can move on to fulfill my dreams.

Green Light Music Video

Please let me know in the comments if you can relate to any of the lyrics from Green Light by Lorde.

We Don’t Talk Anymore by Charlie Puth (feat. Selena Gomez)

 

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As you may know, music is so inspiring and tells stories that us, as listeners, can relate to. Though some songs may be catchy and constantly on repeat while others relate to us so perfectly. So every Monday, I will list a song that I have been listening to and I will tell how that song relates to me personally.

This week the song I’ve constantly been listening to is We Don’t Talk Anymore by Charlie Puth (feat. Selena Gomez). Though this song is about someone who can’t move on from their boyfriend/girlfriend for me it means lost a friendship.

At the start of middle school, I met someone who I became good friends with and throughout middle school we did everything together, though as time went on we grew apart. Both of us wanted different things so eventually, we split. I’m not going to lie here but the split wasn’t exactly mutual and this individual caused me a lot of pain. As time went on I still thought about her but I felt like she never thought about me. I spent months wanting our friendship back though she moved on. She had college and her boyfriend. I’ll pick out some lines that hit me hard while listening to this beautiful song.

We don’t talk anymore

We don’t talk anymore

We don’t talk anymore

Like we used to do

We would talk all the time. I was a relatively shy person but she made me fearless, she taught me to be brave regardless of what everyone else thought of me. Now I haven’t heard from her since last November.

Cause even after all this time

I still wonder

Why I can’t move on

Just the way you did so easily

She moved on so easily while every day I waited for her to text or call me. I know now that she was meant to come to into my life and teach me lessons and then leave. She definitely made me a better person.

There must be a good reason that you’re gone

Every now and then I think you might want me to

Come show up at your door

But I’m just too afraid that I’ll be wrong

I know she left because our dreams were in very different directions and in order for us to both grow, we need to split. Every once and a while I want to call her up and see how she is doing but I’m too afraid that she won’t want to talk to me.

 

We Don’t Talk Anymore Music Video

 

We Don’t Talk Anymore (Live Performance)